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INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS ASSERTIVENESS & SAYING NO It can very often be difficult to say no to people who make demands of us, and if we say no, we can get caught up in self-critical thoughts leading us to feel guilty. To avoid feeling guilty, we just keep on saying “yes” to every request. Someone asks us to do something: We can learn ways of saying “No” that don’t lead us to think
self-critically or feel guilty. For example: No. I’m sorry but I really can’t at the moment. Be wary of those self-critical thoughts afterwards. Practice challenging
and/or dismissing them, by telling yourself: When we want something, we use all sorts of messages to try to let others
know, such as hints, expressions and gestures, hidden meanings in what we
say. But the only way to ensure that someone has really understood what you
want, is to be clear in what you say: It may not always be possible to get what we want or feel we need,
perhaps because that would impact on other people. Having said what you’d
like, then we need to consider the response according to the rights of the
other person too. It’s often possible to compromise, which can respect the
rights of all those involved:
More information: Self Help Books How to be Assertive In Any Situation When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Cope, Using the Skills of Systematic Assertive Therapy |